The Butterfly Effect In Action
Recently, I read a book about randomness and how it rules our lives. The author talks about how just a minute difference in your life can have a major impact on the path you end up following. You may know it as the butterfly effect.
The butterfly effect is an idea from a story about a butterfly flapping its wings and causing a hurricane. Does this actually happen? The simple answer is yes. Because everything is interrelated. However these random actions cannot be predicted. You only notice their importance after they occur.
In the book, “The Drunkards Walk,” Leonard Mlodinow talks about how his grandfather was in a concentration camp in Germany and lost his wife and children. After the war, he moved to New York, where he met a woman and started life over. That woman became the author’s grandmother. And the author said if it weren’t for the Holocaust, he would have never been born.
Although this isn’t a pleasant thought, it’s how life works. Things may not happen for a reason, but random things change your life’s direction. For example, many of you have had experiences where you got invited to a gathering and then met someone who impacted your life.
You may have made a connection that led you to meet a future spouse or get a new job. You didn’t actively try to have a life-changing experience, but something happened beyond your control, and your life changed in an instant.
These sudden shifts, whether in circumstances or knowledge, are an inevitable part of life. While we may not foresee them, we can always adapt and grow from the effects of these random acts.
This Randomness is the Reason Why I Started Traveling Full-Time.
Let Me Explain…
When I turned sixty-three, I wanted to retire. However, after examining my financial situation, I knew that to retire in the United States, I would have to get a part-time job. So, I started looking into ways I could start a side business to make extra income.
I was living with an old girlfriend at the time, and we had a good living arrangement. She liked having me around, and I did a lot of little things around the house that made it a good situation for both of us.
But Then Something Happened.
For some reason, my housemates daughter decided to treat me like shit. It started out with just ignoring me, making me feel uncomfortable, and then became hateful. I even went as far as avoiding any contact with her, getting hotel rooms when she came over for the holidays or visiting my children and grandchildren out of state.
But then my housemate asked if I would be her guest at her daughter’s wedding. Against my better judgment, I said yes. As you can guess, it did not go well.
I wasn’t given an assigned seat for the ceremony, and I was kept from getting a formal picture taken. She stuck her nose up at me when her new husband told her to say hi to me. Lastly, I did not get a thank you card until three months after the wedding.
Remember, I’m the Bride’s Mother’s Guest.
I mentioned all this to my housemate, but she didn’t care. Even though she was at the wedding, she didn’t want to believe any of this was on purpose.
The fact of the matter is she could not believe her daughter was anything but the second coming of Mother Theresa. She was so blindsided by her beliefs that I could not convince her to just pay attention to how her daughter treated me when we were in the same room.
As most of you know, continuously ignoring complaints from a roommate, friend, or spouse is the beginning of the end. Not to mention that anytime someone’s child decides to stick their nose in a parent’s relationship, it’s the kiss of death.
Knowing this was a horrible way to live, not to mention a bad personal relationship, I decided to move on. It was then that I realized I could live overseas cheaper than in the U.S.
So, even though I had planned before I left, the decision to leave became an option because of a random event. This event, like the butterfly flapping its wings, set off a chain of reactions that ultimately led me to the decision to live overseas. The choices my housemate and her daughter made, seemingly insignificant at the time, had a profound impact on the direction of my life.
In a good way.
Till next time, enjoy each day.
Joseph O’Brien